This week I want to get vulnerable and share what’s really going on in my head.
I woke up this morning and depression hit me hard. It’s been a week since fathers day. I love that i got to celebrate with my step dad who is as close as I’ve ever got to a real father.
I haven’t heard from my real dad since mothers day. This is by choice a little bit though I will explain. I changed my phone and phone number and didn’t give him my new number.
I came to the realization that each time we email or talk on the phone I speak to him not him to me. It was always a one sided conversation. My sperm-donor is still in a Florida prison for the crime he committed when I was 15 years old. He and my mom got into a fight and he beat her really bad.
This was a wake up call to my mom and me we realized we could get out. We restarted our live with my mom, my baby sister and me. We moved again and then things were great till i turned 16 and 1/2 years old. My sister and I were taken from my mom and put into the foster care system.
When I aged out my sister was adopted by then in a close adoption and I have no contact till she an adult. This causes me great sadness because I have a 5 year old son who doesn’t know her. I am 22 weeks pregnant with my daughter who also wont meet her till later in life.
My mom got sober almost ten years ago now. I have had my own battle with drugs and alcohol from the ages of 19 to 21 years old. At age 21 on April 11, 2018 I learn that I was pregnant with my son. I got sober that day and I was in a toxic relationship he stopped paying me attention. Eventually we split up and he left me for another women.
I moved back home and I am still at my parents house because rent is outrageous. I am in a healthy relationship with a great guy from my past.
I use my art as a way to cope with my harsh reality most times. I write blog post to get things off my chest and also talk about art related topics.
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Here is my logo that I hand drawn and a picture of me from 2020.
Find me on these social medias:
Website:
https://mariesartest2017.wordpress.com
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/maries_artest2017
Twitter:
https://twitter.com/MarieArtEST2017
YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@MariesArtEST
Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/561242115082060
My memoir:
https://a.co/d/0BrIPnsrc
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